2008 blog...

Heh... New blog... Cyberspace is unlimited... Dun set limits on it!!! Hahaha... So last entry here... Update ur links ya... Kekeke... Like new year da shao chu ma...

http://hazel-aka-qin-2008.blogspot.com/

Thanksgiving...

This year... 2007... Is coming to an end soon. Even as I look back... Indeed I have come a long way... This year had not been an easy year to go through. With all the late nites and lots of ppl ard me choosing to give up... It was easy to throw in the white towel and leave, just like the many others who had done it. But I managed to stand strong up til now... Cos God is with me and there is nothing which cannot be done.

It is really amazing how I managed to go through all these with God. I held onto my faith. The only reason which keeps me sane in times like this. At times when I am tired... Truly tired... I know that I can look up and just surrender to my Abba Father... He knows all things... All my troubles are so easy for Him to solve.. But He wants me to handle them... Cos He knows that I will emerge stronger and my character will be moulded through it all.

2007... Has been a year where I conquered my fears... At least the 1st steps. I nvr thot I can ever learn how to drive, learn how to be a senior, learn to be someone who make leaders... But God is the one guiding me, Holy Spirit leading me and Jesus holding my hand and bringing me through the process...

Wanna thank all the people who has blessed me in this year... Felt really blessed!!! Especially to Aunty Shirley... Who gave herself selflessly for the ministry... She treated us to meals after meals... Bday presents, xmas presents... Countless!!! And her attitude behind all these giving is one that God will bless me back as I cont to bless the ppl ard me... She even asked us not to snatch her chance of being blessed by God!!! Very appreciative of the ppl ard her... So humble despite her age... No wonder God blesses her with such wonderful children and family...

Wanna thank my dear dear... He has been with me through one more year of my life... Through thick and thin we've come so far... Even as we continue to walk together, I pray that his desires will come to pass... I'll support u in whatever u set ur heart to do... Just dun forget abt me in the midst of all the getting... kk? :)

Then I wanna thank my parents n siblings... This year I havent spent lots of time at home... So busy with work, ministry, Ken n cg... But they nvr fail to provide for my welfare... My clothes are always washed, ironed, bedsheet changed, table, room packed... Amazing... What else can one wish for?! Thank you!!! I love you all...

Then I wanna thank my cell group ppl... You made a difference in my life... You enriched my life!!! You contribute to my experiences in this lifetime... Through every single one of you, I learnt something... Some attitudes which I need to adopt as well... You are my teacher too... So nvr despise yourself. No matter how long you are, God can use you. As long as you continue to trust Him and let Him use your abilities and talents, you can do great things for God.

Then I wanna thank my ministry members too... YOU ARE THE BEST! You all have a great attitude! Thank you for rising to the occasion, for taking ownership of this ministry. I thank God for giving me this chance to impact your lives. Indeed I have trained up various leaders even as the ministry increase in numbers, i pray that we can draw closer together just like a family... :)

Lastly, i wanna thank God... Indeed, without Him, this year will not be possible... I will nvr have reached this place where I know that I can be a senior... All glory to God!!!

On leave but not on leave...

Had a hectic week and going to be a hectic week ahead.... Wed was quite alright... Rushing a few things here and there... Then today went for my driving lesson in the monr then went to Kel's place for Denzel's baby shower... Tiring man... Spent the whole day there... Then tml will be a long day too...

Will head down to CPA House to settle my membership thingy, taking too long le... Then going to shop for xmas presents... Then going NUS to pei Ken do his fyp, I'll do my work then... Then movie with Meng... Hahahah... Cos ken dun like cartoons... Or rather after I watch Alvin n chipmunks with him... I dun wanna watch another movie which appeals to children with him... Cos he fell asleep in the movie!!! Faints... Not that the movie was like super boring... It's funny but quite expected la, cos it's supposed to appeal to kids wat... Haiz... Bad experience... So no more... Then he also meeting his friends for dinner, so we have our own programs lo...

Then sat... My friend's wedding... And I am one of the jie meis... Went to meng's to borrow her dresses last nite, so can save a bit... quite broke le... then one time wear only... Heh... Meng, I think I wearing the silky one for dinner... Hee... The morn one i'll wear my own... Yep yep... When u want ur dresses back huh?

So my sat is gone too... Then sun morn is svc... Then I think need to do some work... Lots of things need to be done... Then I gt only one A10 helping me... The A11 is on an overseas assignment... Haiz... So I will need to do her sections cos the A10 overloaded with the P&L things le... And she also dunno how to do the testing for the BS items... So I think I got to zi ji chu ma le... So Mon is supposed to be a hol but I think may need to work too.. Then got svc in JW... Tue... Xmas day... I see how... Wanna rest leh... Muz see my progress tml n on mon... Then wed see if need to go down client's... Haiz... Hope the A10 is ok, then i can rest a bit... No more rest after this le... All the way til end Apr... So really will be relying on God's strength to go thru this... So pardon me if I am a little short tempered and less patient... But I pray that God can help to increase my capacity so that I wont blow up on you... Kekeke.... Thurs is back to work...

There's a song that goes... Back to life, back to reality... And this line just repeats a few times... Nvr got to know the title of this song but class 95 sometimes will play... And especially in the morn when u wake up... it's like so right song... Hahaha... Ok... gt to go sleep le... Tml another long day ahead...

Lesson learnt from warlords

Went to watch this movie after cg last fri... Picked up some things from that movie... "Da ge shi dui de" Hahahaha... Stupid la, this line... Heh... An impt lesson... A man must honour his words. He must have influence and be careful about the ppl he opens his life. Must really know the heart of the ppl whom you're willing to die for. Is it going to be for the right cause? Dun die for an evil man thinking that he's helping you!!!

But all the above is not what I wanna talk abt... I wanted to talk abt the part where that Da Ge managed to persuade the 3 old men to give him more soldiers to chiong... He managed to get 800. Then he went to approach another warlord (cant remember his team's name... Let's just call him "Desperate for victory"-DFV) to support him. He came with 1,500 men, who are his last men. And this DFV was just just there to support... Onlookers... At the beginning...

So the tactic was that they will need lotsa of ppl to sacrifice, to keep running to break the enemies front line... The enemies gt guns, which range is 300m. The Da Ge's team only got archers, range is 200m. So they will need ppl to run and be the human shields for the archers so that they can reach within range to shoot the arrows... Then they managed to break the front line and went into direct combat with the enemies... Then the enemies sent the ppl on horses one.... Suddenly cant rem the name of this type of ppl... Very nice name one... Anyway, that's not impt... So the enemies sent out these horsemen and they started to kill lots of foot soldiers and archers. Da Ge then sent out himself and the horsemen... They just fought and fought... Til... There was a scene where they are clearly overpowered in numbers... Cos only 800 ppl versus like thousands of enemies... Then they shouted... Bao hu da ge! Cos he was injured la... So the scene was from a top view then you can see the enemies surrounding the da ge's soldiers and he was in the middle.

But even at that time, the Da Ge with the Er Ge and the 3rd bro held on to the belief that they might still be able to win the battle. They begin to put on the mindset that if there's one more i can kill, i will kill cos i would have one less enemy. it was the starfish mindset... Really admire their courage n tenacity...

Then the DFV leader saw them continue to fight despite left like abt 100 men vs thousands of enemies. He felt so challenged. He said "if they are only 800 ppl and can cause that enemies to fall til this stage. What abt us? We need a victory badly" and he led his team in to help to kill the enemies from the outside. and of course, in the end, they won la...

So it's like the da ge's team was only 800 men strong. But it was led by 3 men... They had the same dream, to destroy the enemies and bring peace to that place. I was just thinking today, he had 3 men and he made a difference... My CG has more ppl... More willing ppl who are able to lay down their lives for this cause. Surely we can cause a frantic in the enemies camp... So we can do it! We are stronger... Rachel, Meng, Tam, Xing, Ruix, Ken... ... ... So many, so many... Surely we'll take the enemies camp down... And even the bystanders, seeing our faith will come and help out and we will surely destroy all obstacles... So jiayou my friends... We can make a difference in this age... We can conquer... We can step out of our comfort zone in the transition phase and eventually get the transformation before the year closes... All things are possible to Him who believes... I put my trust in You!!!

I'm tired...

It's a sat and I'm at home... Usually will spend my time with Ken at his place... But he got a function to go, so i staying at home and reflecting... The year is coming to an end so soon. Amazing how fast this year flew... Last fri i saw 2 of my colleagues doing their clearances on the last day of work... Haiz... I muz say at that time, my heart was filled with envy... But I decided to focus and do work til the day ended...

There are so many things waiting to be done but I dunno what... Wondering what should be my next job and why I am staying on one more year. I think it's just to prove to myself that I have the capacity to do it. The tenacity. I feel that I have the capacity to go thru this coming year... Indeed God is with me through it all and His grace is more than sufficient for me.

Looking at the cg, can really feel Ken's frustrations at times. But like him, I also feel so helpless at times. We have done what we could... I think the only thing left is to pray and lift it up to God. Only you can make a wwwaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy.........

Ministry side still alright, not much changes, my team ICs are good, members who are problematic are more or less gone or under control... Need to keep prayin for God's protection over them and their families and everything is fine...

Even as this year comes to an end, I look at the amount of work that is coming... I feel so tired... You knoe wat I mean rite? Haiz... Was looking thru deb's blog and saw my photo with Ken... Scared me... Hahaha... But she missed me... Me too... How I wish there are more Debs in the cg... Then it'll be a breeze...

I got a word for next year le... Really feel so stretched... Another trying year ahead, but at the end of the year, I look back, I would know that God has moved in my life... Increasing my capacity and teaching me to increase in my faith and trust in Him. Looking forward to the next year... But I need to rest... My mind... As long as there are things not completed, my mind cant rest... I got to learn to handle this area better next year... God help me in my weakness...

Happy Birthday, Kaishen!!!!

Yeah... It shows 1202 on my comp and so it's kaishen bday today!!! Known him for the past many many years... Hahaha... Think got closer only in my sec 3 yr... So ard 10 years le!!! Hahaha... Yep... Really like childhood friends... I see him as my bro... Hahaha... Yep... Jiayou wor! Last year le.... You can do it!!! :)

Going to leave singapore on a short trip on sun... Then shld be back by tues... Life is not easy... Cos my mgr like sucking me dry now before i leave... Trying to make me settle everything b4 i leave, cos if nt he'll have to cover for me... which i think he wont want to... But feeling quite sian... Cos i'm supposed to be on leave le... So still working... Full days in fact...

hahaha... but still ok la... managed to go out after work after ken finished his exams.. we went to vivo yesterday, walked ard n caught a show too... the golden compass... quite nice, but the ending is like u know got 2nd part coming up... cos havent conclude... so irritating... Hahaha...

Yep yep... THen today went to meet meng... I was so late... haiz... thot can leave office at 4... who knows i do work til 630 then left... then 162 takes so long to come... So i changed bus instead... then yep, ken came to meet us too... then we went isetan walk walk... n shop shop... erm.. window shopped... then after that... we went to fish n co to makan... nt that nice leh... no mint some more... haiz... then took bus back le...

tml morn gt another meeting... then the ntu thing... ao tiring... i think i wanna leave early tml man... cannot take it le... on leave still need to work til 6+, 7... so sad... my colleague was saying that i so gd, everyday can go back so early... faints... i go hm and work til 2am, 3am leh... hahaha... some days la... yep yep... so have been helping out at the ntu interviews, talking to the ppl... i think i not very professional... too friendly le... tml last session... before i leave... so think i will hmmmmm... be more formal... dun joke so much le... hahahaha... just be an answer... they ask qns, i answer... hahahhaa...

Happy Birthday Sis!!!

Hahahaha... Ya, my sis bday today... Somehow didnt celebrate leh... Dunno why.... USually will have cake then bday song singing... Weird... Bro at chalet... Mom sleeping le. Dad's out... Sis watching online movie n tv at the same time... she amazes me by the no of shows she has watched man... Hahaha... She went zoo today, this morn with her friends... Took lots lots lots of photos... Mostly of the animals... Faints... Hahaha...

Yep, my sista is 18 le... Any takers??? Hahaha... Just finished her 'A's n looking for a temp job b4 she starts uni... 1st job!!! Hahaha... I started working when I was in Sec 2 during my hols lo... Hahaha... She good life hor? Hahaha...

Yep... After blogging n checking mail n reading blogs n blogging again... Now is really back to work... Need to finish by tonight cos tml going to meet client le... Haiz... Feeling so sian, no mood to work... But ok la... I think short week ahead... Festive season le... My office gt xmas deco le.... White spray tt kind n also the green green thingy... Hahaha... those deco la... So in the non-working mood le... Heh... XMAS!!! Hahaha... I wanna go hols... Escape!!! Heh... Thank GOD i going retreat soon... Although diff rm from Ken, but at least still can see him everyday... N we can celebrate our anni there... Hmmmm... 9 yrs 10 mths in 7 more days!!! Hahaha... 118 mths le... I wonder how many more to go b4 we can light the unity candle??? Only God knows...